Wednesday, February 29, 2012

What's Good for the Goose?

I tend to think I have a good sense of humor. I mean, I crack jokes. I think they are funny. Sometimes I laugh at them (but not too much). My kids? Well, they don't think I'm funny. They have their own sense of humor and I am not up to speed. For example:

Nathan: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
Nathan: Toy
Me: Toy who?
Nathan: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
Nathan: Nugget (meaning Tyler of course)
Me: Nugget who?
Nathan: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
Nathan: Blanket
Me: Blanket Who?
Nathan: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
Nathan: Dooby Doo movie
**Here is where I have my epiphany and realize that he is just naming random things he sees in the room. Don't judge me, I'm severely sleep deprived. So I decide that I can play this game too! It will be fun, just watch!***
Me: Knock, knock
Nathan: Woo dare?
Me: Cheese
Nathan: Nooooo!!! No deeze mommy!!
Me: Oh, um, okay...Knock knock
Nathan: Knock knock
Me: Sigh...who's there?
Nathan: Alice
Me: Alice who?
Nathan: Knock, knock...

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Top 5 Reasons That I am Pro-Life

I try to keep the controversial, serious stuff off my family blog. I like the blog to be fun and cute-sy. But this is an issue that has been weighing heavily on my heart recently. I think we sometimes take the issue of having children and try to make it all about us. We think of it as something that should fit into our plan. But our plan is not THE plan. A good friend of mine recently pointed out to me that Adam and Eve did not have children in the Garden of Eden. We so often wait for the timing to be perfect. We want the right job, the right education, the right home. We want to travel first, etc. But we are not in the garden. It is never going to be easy and perfect. But it isn't really about us is it? It's about them. And so, with that having been said, I would like to share my top five reasons why I am Pro-Life:

#1

loves video games, reads 1-2 grade levels ahead, is in the 5th percentile for his size so we call him Peter Parker, gets up early and makes breakfast for everyone so his mom & dad can sleep, writes letters to the mail man, climbs trees, has freckles on his nose, is turning 9 years old in June, will change the world

#2

loves to draw, is the champion of the "what" game, puts plastic spiders in my bed to scare me, takes tae kwon do, loves snakes, is "team jacob" because he loves wolves, opens doors for ladies, laughs with his whole body, can eat more spaghetti than anyone i know, looks like his dad, sleeps with his star blanket, will change the world

#3

gives the best hugs in the world, loves dogs and cats, likes to sing, goes to see "princesses on ice" with her mom every year, doesn't like nail polish, loves to hold her baby brother, wears her pink boots almost every day, wants to be a fisherman when she grows up, is a super picky eater, doesn't cry when she gets a shot, will change the world

#4

likes scooby doo, smears toothpaste on the mirror, loves to eat tomatoes, calls his daddy "papa", makes at least 15 messes a day, makes his mom smile at least 100 times a day, his best friend calls him "mayfin", sucks his thumb, throws tantrums, gives puppy kisses, is spoiled rotten, is a miracle baby, will change the world

#5

is a sweet little nugget, doesn't sleep well at night, pulls himself up to stand at 7 months, eats everything he can find on the floor, looks like the red angry bird when he scowls, loves to snuggle, hates bananas, pulls hair, has a smile that lights up a room, was almost named Beckham, chases the vacuum, will change the world

Thursday, February 23, 2012

If You Need Me, I'll Be Hanging with My New Friend...

I want you to meet my new best friend. We only met recently, but I can already tell you that this is going to be a very important relationship in my life. Say, "hello", to my new friend, Cookie Butter.


I know what you're thinking...how did we sleep through the Second Coming? Because cookies.and butter.together. Yep, we're all in Heaven! Grandma actually spotted it on the shelf while we were shopping for honey, and are we so glad that she did!

Suggested uses:
Smoothies, smearing on fruit, crackers or toast, eat it plain with a spoon (Grandma and I tested this method...it's a winner), lick it straight out of the jar.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Friday, February 10, 2012

Communicating with Men...or, Eating Soup with a Butter Knife

Papa Bear and I stayed up way too late talking. This usually results in me bearing my soul...staying up late is never a good idea for me.
Papa Bear isn't really the soul-bearing type. So we end up with a lot of conversations like this:
me: "What do you love about me? you can't say 'everything', that doesn't count."
husband: after a few quiet moments, "I think what I really love most about you is the deep and affirming love that you have for (here is where I wait for something about what a beautiful, loving mother I am) Lizard Lick Towing."

**for those who aren't familiar, Lizard Lick Towing is a show on television. I enjoy watching it. Don't judge me. It's hilarious. My husband thinks it is really funny that I watch this show, which I totally don't get because he is the one who introduced it to me in the first place. Hypocrite.

OR, this:

me: "Sometimes I just feel like I'm not a very good mom. I'm not a fun mom or a cool mom. I'm just the laundry-folding mom. The diaper-changing, dish-washing, tub-bathing, cheese-shredding, spaghetti-making mom."
husband: "Yeah, we should just go back to buying shredded cheese."

Really? That's what you took from that conversation? Geesh. Men.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Who Needs Sleep?

Um, I do, for one. I know that our Heavenly Father has a perfect plan in place for each of us. Sometimes I really don't understand it. For example, I don't understand why He created our bodies to require sleep and then put us in situations where it is IMPOSSIBLE to do so. Then I remember that I was the one who wanted all these creatures of the night children and I kinda don't blame Him so much anymore.
Occasionally though, I don't really think it's my fault. I mean, the math is simple. Humans need sleep. All humans...big humans and small humans. How was I to possibly know that I would be blessed with the five humans who defy the laws of nature and never need to sleep? See, I'm innocent!
But my kids aren't the only problem. There just seems to be some sort of sleep conspiracy. Kid.You.Not.
There are these rare moments in time where I actually get to lie down and rest during the day. Most days, these moments remain an illusive dream. And on some days, I will manage to get both little boys to sleep while the three wild things are still at school, but I force myself to be productive and use that time to do my dishes or laundry or what have you (even as I type the words, my fingers feel sick and shameful. what a waste of lovely sleep time). Then there are those few and far between moments, when I decide I am going to do it. I'm going to take a nap.
This is how it usually goes:
Little boys fall asleep, I have one hour before the bus comes, I lie down on the couch and start to doze off and one of the following things takes place:
1. The phone rings. It never fails. I will turn the ringer off on my cell...the home phone rings. I ignore the call because my home phone is usually only used by telemarketers...it turns out to be my tax guy. My refund will likely be delayed because I put off the call for twenty minutes.
2. The dog starts barking. If I lie there for long enough MAYBE he will stop...or maybe I can tune him out.
3. The door bell rings. Are you kidding me? Sometimes I forget I actually have a doorbell, because it only rings when I try to nap. I peak out the curtain and it's a random girl (maybe 11 or 12) standing on my front porch. I ignore it. The truth is, if I open the door I am a little afraid that I will kick her in the knee. So I go back and lie down. Then I start feeling guilty and all sorts of random scenarios run through my head: She is trying to raise money to go to florida and fulfill her life long dream of playing the clarinet and because I didn't buy her $17 box of cookies she will end up on the street. Or, she was approached by a stranger and ran to my house for help and now I am going to find her face on a milk carton. **As it turns out, she just wanted to play with my kids.
4. All of the above. I'm telling you it's the universe. My kids leave me alone for forty minutes and the rest of the world steps in to fill their shoes. Unbelievable.

On most days, this would make me angry. Today, I somehow still managed to get a little rest in between all the madness so it's just funny.