Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Could TOTALLY Survive.....

...a Lifetime suspense movie.
Now I am a self-proclaimed wimp. In fact, I consider myself to be a prime specimen of "fraidy cat". I have always thought that if anyone ever broke into my home or chased me down I would pretty much just curl up and cry. I'm not even sure I'd beg. I think I'd just cry. Of course, if my children were in the house this would change things....but I digress.
So, today, while home with sick kids, I was watching a movie on Lifetime. I can't remember the name of it...which speaks volumes for its calibre. But I noticed a few things...probably the key reasons why people in these movies always get themselves killed. It's almost hard to feel sorry for them when they are that thick. So I have decided that even I, the fraidy cat, could survive a Lifetime movie for the following reasons:
1. They never call the police. They always try but the line is cut. Seriously? It's 2010. You can probably text or tweet 911.
2. They continue to put themselves in the worst possible situations. If someone has been stalking/harassing/attacking you...how's about not getting in the car with them? Or maybe you shouldn't be staying home ALONE..or at all...I'm thinking that the Marriott is looking all sorts of wonderful right about now.
3. They always grab a kitchen knife. Why? IF they don't drop it, they get it taken away. Why don't you just gift wrap it and hand it to the intruder? For proper home security I suggest long distance weapons, you know, ones that don't require me to be inches from the killer but hey, that's just me. If you are against guns then try a moat...with crocodiles...and maybe a barbed wire fence.
All in all, I would say my chances are good. Lifetime perpetrators beware.

4 comments:

Terri said...

LOL I love your thoughts! It is so true about those movies. I always get mad at the people on the tv and tell them what to do but they never listen. We personally are gun owners so that is our weapon of choice.

Blake said...

Hahaha. I love you Jen. You crack me up. Miss y'all and hope everything is going well with you and your family!

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

I like the moat with crocodiles idea. haha! Those movies are so lame, aren't they?

Tia said...

Ha ha, that is so funny. My mom loves those movies!