Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Oh Dear

Mother epiphany #7,724,892---my kids remember things.

I had a bittersweet experience today. We were driving along in the van and just chitter chattering. The kids got on the subject of China, which was funny. But I digress...at one point in the conversation Suzy asked if I remembered the night that we went to the Mexico restaurant and we spoke Spanish and the man made her a blue balloon dog.
Yes, I did remember. I think what struck me though, is that SHE remembered. We went there probably over a year ago. She would have been three or maybe barely four-years-old. Why is this bittersweet you ask?
Well, I started thinking about how crabby I've been with this pregnancy and how I have placated myself in this situation by telling myself that my kids are little and they won't remember it. But if my four-year-old remembers ONE dinner and ONE balloon that she had ONE night, a year ago, what are the odds that she won't remember mom snapping at her or refusing to cuddle with her?
Guilt does crazy things. I took the kids to Moe's for dinner, Sweet Frog for dessert and then off to Target to pick out a little toy...yes, I really did feel THAT badly. Motherhood is not always easy and kids are kids. They get loud and they get demanding and they get attitude-ish...but honestly, is that much different than adults? The difference? They are imitating, we are inspiring.
So I guess that was my motherhood revelation of the moment...I need to make my children's memories amazing because they WILL remember.

6 comments:

Terri said...

Yep my kids can remember everything. It does put things in perspective for us as grown ups.

You are a wonderful mom Jen so don't be so hard on yourself.

Kelli said...

First I must ask - Sweet Frog for dessert? Is this a new place in the 'ville? And Terri is right - you are a good mama. :) I think about that stuff too though - what will they remember? What do I remember as a kid? Balloon animals definitely stick out - for sure! I know - learn how to make balloon animals! Then you will be the COOLEST mom ever!!!! haha :)

Dunstan Family said...

I have been going through the same thing here. I think we are granted those moments to help improve. You are a wonderful mother.

butterflybecca said...

Yeah, this has been a source of so much pain for me, realizing how much my girls have already faced. Some my fault, some not. It's a scary thing, and I OFTEN pray that God will protect their minds and hearts from the pain as much as possible.

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