Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Oh Dear

Mother epiphany #7,724,892---my kids remember things.

I had a bittersweet experience today. We were driving along in the van and just chitter chattering. The kids got on the subject of China, which was funny. But I one point in the conversation Suzy asked if I remembered the night that we went to the Mexico restaurant and we spoke Spanish and the man made her a blue balloon dog.
Yes, I did remember. I think what struck me though, is that SHE remembered. We went there probably over a year ago. She would have been three or maybe barely four-years-old. Why is this bittersweet you ask?
Well, I started thinking about how crabby I've been with this pregnancy and how I have placated myself in this situation by telling myself that my kids are little and they won't remember it. But if my four-year-old remembers ONE dinner and ONE balloon that she had ONE night, a year ago, what are the odds that she won't remember mom snapping at her or refusing to cuddle with her?
Guilt does crazy things. I took the kids to Moe's for dinner, Sweet Frog for dessert and then off to Target to pick out a little toy...yes, I really did feel THAT badly. Motherhood is not always easy and kids are kids. They get loud and they get demanding and they get attitude-ish...but honestly, is that much different than adults? The difference? They are imitating, we are inspiring.
So I guess that was my motherhood revelation of the moment...I need to make my children's memories amazing because they WILL remember.


Terri said...

Yep my kids can remember everything. It does put things in perspective for us as grown ups.

You are a wonderful mom Jen so don't be so hard on yourself.

Kelli said...

First I must ask - Sweet Frog for dessert? Is this a new place in the 'ville? And Terri is right - you are a good mama. :) I think about that stuff too though - what will they remember? What do I remember as a kid? Balloon animals definitely stick out - for sure! I know - learn how to make balloon animals! Then you will be the COOLEST mom ever!!!! haha :)

Dunstan Family said...

I have been going through the same thing here. I think we are granted those moments to help improve. You are a wonderful mother.

butterflybecca said...

Yeah, this has been a source of so much pain for me, realizing how much my girls have already faced. Some my fault, some not. It's a scary thing, and I OFTEN pray that God will protect their minds and hearts from the pain as much as possible.

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