We had an ultrasound this morning. We are having a boy. Another boy. Five BOYS. Yep.
So here's the truth. A few weeks ago we had an ultrasound. I was about 13 weeks. We totally saw boy stuff. The ultrasound tech told us not to go painting anything blue BUT...
At first, I was shocked...and a little sad. It wasn't that I didn't want a boy. It's just that I REALLY wanted a girl. I have bins upon bins of adorable girly clothes. I have bows and tights and skirts and pink things. I wanted to use them. I wanted Suzy to have a sister. I thought that having another girl would create balance. Every family needs balance right? Everyone insisted this baby was a girl. Even my friend who is NEVER wrong about my babies thought it was a girl. We were all convinced. So when the ultrasound tech said boy, I got a lump in my throat.
Even though we pretty much knew, we held off on telling people and decided to wait until our next ultrasound. During that time, I tried to keep my feelings neutral. The truth is it was SO not neutral. I would swing like a pendulum. One minute I'd be totally excited for another boy. Suzy and I would remain the queens. Boys are so fun and wonderful, etc. The next minute I would be holding back tears thinking about the little girl things that I would never use again. The sweet name that I would never get to call out. The total imbalance in the family (balanced families are weird ya'll...just sayin'). And back and forth it went.
When we went in today I was prepared. So when we saw "it" I knew exactly what I was looking at...it's not like I haven't seen a few in my time. Mike and I chuckled. I've been chuckling ever since. Mother's intuition? It doesn't exist you guys. People who say "I just KNEW I was having ..." and they were right? Guess what? It's a 50/50 shot. Maybe I just missed the intuition boat. Who knows? But this is what I will say. I thought that I really wanted a girl. I thought that was exactly what our family needed to be whole and perfect. I was wrong.
Because here is what I know. I know that God knows who I need and who needs me. I know that my family is perfect because He designed it, not me. I know that when I hold my son it will not be possible for me to love him more. I know because I've been blessed to experience that five times now. And I am so incredibly blessed to be able to experience it one more time.
I watched his little legs kicking on the ultrasound. Yeah, I made those legs. They are perfect and beautiful...just like him. I can't wait to hold him. I can't wait to kiss him. I can't wait to learn from him and maybe I'll get really lucky and I'll get to teach him something too.
I feel blessed far beyond what I deserve. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for giving me another chance with motherhood. I am thankful that He trusts me. I am thankful that He knows who I need and who needs me. I am proud to announce that I am expecting ANOTHER baby and that baby is a BOY!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
No sense in Nonsense
We protect this:
And them:
Oh, and their next geneartion:
She, however...well, she may be innocent but her death is acceptable:
We convinct him of double homicide in the death of his wife and UNBORN child:
Does this make sense? No, I didn't think so.
Either human life matters, or it doesn't.
And them:
Oh, and their next geneartion:
But not him. He isn't protected:
We oppose the killing of adults convicted of crimes, including murderers, rapists, thieves:
She, however...well, she may be innocent but her death is acceptable:
We call him an advocate for women's rights by allowing women to abort their unborn babies:
When someone's heart stops, we declare them dead:
But if their heart is beating, it doesn't make them alive:
Either human life matters, or it doesn't.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Response to an Alleged Feminist
Earlier today, a dear friend of mine alerted my attention to an article written by a professed feminist, lawyer and, in my humble opinion, seriously misguided woman. You can find the article here http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/06/1-wives-are-helping-kill-feminism-and-make-the-war-on-women-possible/258431/
A word of caution, you may find it offensive. My initial reaction? Way beyond offended. I was angry. Did this woman seriously just insinuate that all I do all day is sit around getting pedicures and doing aerobics? Would she like to spend just ONE DAY in my worn-to-the-sole shoes, which by the way, were a Payless special? I was huffing and puffing and ready to blow her house down before I finished the first paragraph.
Then it occurred to me, that reaction is precisely the opposite of feminism. You see, feminism isn't about being on equal grounds with men. It's not about being able to vote. It's not about having a high-paying job, opening your own car door or remaining single because you find it "empowering". Those things are not feminine at all. Because what is femininity? What defines womanhood?
For starters, I look to my mother. A woman who worked full-time, raised her child, cared for a home and never complained. She was brave and she was selfless. My mother was a feminist.
I look at Rosa Parks. She was willing to stand up for those who were afraid. She proudly stood up for what she believed. She was a feminist.
I look at Florence Nightingale, selflessly devoting herself to the service of others. Mother Theresa, likewise. These women were feminists.
So what defines womanhood?
Bravery. Selflessness. Service. Love. Conviction.
So I ask this question to the author of this article (yes, I realize, she will likely never read this), are you a feminist?
I look at the world's definition of feminism and it makes my heart ache. Because women don't need to be on the same level as men, because as women, we don't care. We are proud of who we are and status is irrelevant. We bravely accept our position, wherever it may be and with whatever obstacles it might entail. We recognize the difference between what the world values and what we ourselves value.
Women don't need high status jobs or high paying jobs, because we recognize that our greatest influence can be felt in intimate settings, not just high-profile ones. We realize that we can change lives and whether it is one life or a thousand, it makes no difference.
Women don't avoid meaningful relationships because to do so is selfish. Women are not selfish. We realize that life is meant for service and love. We understand that life is not about how much we can do for ourselves, but how much we can do for those around us, those within our reach, those we love.
So that is what I think feminism is. It is recognizing what it really means to be a woman, and proudly,bravely and selflessly embracing it.
I don't for one second claim to be a feminist...not yet. But I'm working on it. If anything, I suppose I should thank Ms. Wurtzel for helping me to remember the true beauty of womanhood.
A word of caution, you may find it offensive. My initial reaction? Way beyond offended. I was angry. Did this woman seriously just insinuate that all I do all day is sit around getting pedicures and doing aerobics? Would she like to spend just ONE DAY in my worn-to-the-sole shoes, which by the way, were a Payless special? I was huffing and puffing and ready to blow her house down before I finished the first paragraph.
Then it occurred to me, that reaction is precisely the opposite of feminism. You see, feminism isn't about being on equal grounds with men. It's not about being able to vote. It's not about having a high-paying job, opening your own car door or remaining single because you find it "empowering". Those things are not feminine at all. Because what is femininity? What defines womanhood?
For starters, I look to my mother. A woman who worked full-time, raised her child, cared for a home and never complained. She was brave and she was selfless. My mother was a feminist.
I look at Rosa Parks. She was willing to stand up for those who were afraid. She proudly stood up for what she believed. She was a feminist.
I look at Florence Nightingale, selflessly devoting herself to the service of others. Mother Theresa, likewise. These women were feminists.
So what defines womanhood?
Bravery. Selflessness. Service. Love. Conviction.
So I ask this question to the author of this article (yes, I realize, she will likely never read this), are you a feminist?
I look at the world's definition of feminism and it makes my heart ache. Because women don't need to be on the same level as men, because as women, we don't care. We are proud of who we are and status is irrelevant. We bravely accept our position, wherever it may be and with whatever obstacles it might entail. We recognize the difference between what the world values and what we ourselves value.
Women don't need high status jobs or high paying jobs, because we recognize that our greatest influence can be felt in intimate settings, not just high-profile ones. We realize that we can change lives and whether it is one life or a thousand, it makes no difference.
Women don't avoid meaningful relationships because to do so is selfish. Women are not selfish. We realize that life is meant for service and love. We understand that life is not about how much we can do for ourselves, but how much we can do for those around us, those within our reach, those we love.
So that is what I think feminism is. It is recognizing what it really means to be a woman, and proudly,bravely and selflessly embracing it.
I don't for one second claim to be a feminist...not yet. But I'm working on it. If anything, I suppose I should thank Ms. Wurtzel for helping me to remember the true beauty of womanhood.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mother's Day Ramblings
This is a Non-Mother's Day, Mother's Day post. I didn't actually post on Mother's Day because I was busy being pampered. No dishes and no diapers for an entire day?!? I'm telling you, it's the high life. My husband is amazing. Truly.
But I did want to share a few Mother's Day sentiments. Mother's Day always carries a range of emotions for me. On the one hand, it's super wonderful to have a day where I get to be reminded how awesome I am. Cards and notes from the kids and the hubster, an excuse to ask everyone to do my bidding with the expectation that they will do it without getting cranky with me, well wishes from friends and family. It's pretty awesome. On the other hand, there is always that ache of not being able to be with my own mother. The ghost of Mother's Days past has oft reminded me that I really didn't spoil her properly during our time together. I have learned much since then. I could have spoiled her the right way now that I know what moms REALLY want. It's a cruel irony of life. Mom, if you can read blogs in Heaven, this is me promising to make it up to you one day.
I suppose this post is my weak attempt to satisfy part of my debt to my sweet mother, and also to my Heavenly Father who has given me the opportunity to be a mother myself, to the most incredible kids ever. I know every mother thinks her kids are the best. The difference is, mine really are. For real guys. They are ridiculous. Hilarious. Smart. Beautiful. Kind. I'm not sure how kids get to be this awesome. I thank my Heavenly Father (and every lucky star in the heavens) that I married an awesome man, because surely these kids are rewards for his good deeds. I am just privileged to be with them.
So in gratitude for my own experiences as a mother, as well as my gratitude for my experiences with my mother, here is my because of list...
Because of my mother:
I laugh every time I hear the song "Fever" by Garth Brooks
I think purple and magenta are perfectly acceptable colors for pants
I talk to plants and random wild animals like they understand me
I say things like, "that's a fine kettle of fish" and "me oh my and a basket of soap bubbles"
I shake the milk jug every time I get it out of the fridge
I know that your smile is the feature that make the biggest impression. It's the first thing you notice and last thing you remember.
I consider frozen yogurt a suitable lunch selection
I cry when I hear bangle bracelets jingling
Because of my children:
I wake up every day and pray that I can be a better mother
I go to bed every night and thank my Heavenly Father for every second I've had with them
I appreciate the man I married more intensely than I would have ever anticipated
I sing songs like "Baby Booby Bird" and "Water, Water" just for fun
I appreciate my parents more
I understand humility better
I understand love better
I understand God better
I am entertained by clapping and smiling in ways I can't explain
I have lots of new ideas on how the world should be run
I know less than I ever have
My life is filled with joy
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
But I did want to share a few Mother's Day sentiments. Mother's Day always carries a range of emotions for me. On the one hand, it's super wonderful to have a day where I get to be reminded how awesome I am. Cards and notes from the kids and the hubster, an excuse to ask everyone to do my bidding with the expectation that they will do it without getting cranky with me, well wishes from friends and family. It's pretty awesome. On the other hand, there is always that ache of not being able to be with my own mother. The ghost of Mother's Days past has oft reminded me that I really didn't spoil her properly during our time together. I have learned much since then. I could have spoiled her the right way now that I know what moms REALLY want. It's a cruel irony of life. Mom, if you can read blogs in Heaven, this is me promising to make it up to you one day.
I suppose this post is my weak attempt to satisfy part of my debt to my sweet mother, and also to my Heavenly Father who has given me the opportunity to be a mother myself, to the most incredible kids ever. I know every mother thinks her kids are the best. The difference is, mine really are. For real guys. They are ridiculous. Hilarious. Smart. Beautiful. Kind. I'm not sure how kids get to be this awesome. I thank my Heavenly Father (and every lucky star in the heavens) that I married an awesome man, because surely these kids are rewards for his good deeds. I am just privileged to be with them.
So in gratitude for my own experiences as a mother, as well as my gratitude for my experiences with my mother, here is my because of list...
Because of my mother:
I laugh every time I hear the song "Fever" by Garth Brooks
I think purple and magenta are perfectly acceptable colors for pants
I talk to plants and random wild animals like they understand me
I say things like, "that's a fine kettle of fish" and "me oh my and a basket of soap bubbles"
I shake the milk jug every time I get it out of the fridge
I know that your smile is the feature that make the biggest impression. It's the first thing you notice and last thing you remember.
I consider frozen yogurt a suitable lunch selection
I cry when I hear bangle bracelets jingling
Because of my children:
I wake up every day and pray that I can be a better mother
I go to bed every night and thank my Heavenly Father for every second I've had with them
I appreciate the man I married more intensely than I would have ever anticipated
I sing songs like "Baby Booby Bird" and "Water, Water" just for fun
I appreciate my parents more
I understand humility better
I understand love better
I understand God better
I am entertained by clapping and smiling in ways I can't explain
I have lots of new ideas on how the world should be run
I know less than I ever have
My life is filled with joy
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Things Change and Stay the Same
Five things that I loved before I had children, that I don't love anymore:
1. Sleeping late
2. Scary movies
3. Buttery popcorn
4. Logo shirts
5. Road trips
Five things that I still love, even after having children:
1. Playing loud music in the car
2. Dessert
3. Inflatable slides
4. Good books
5. Hanging out with my husband
Five things that I love BECAUSE I have children:
1. The way a two-year-old says "delicious"
2. Family access public bathrooms
3. Dirty feet
4. The smell of grass, sunscreen and baby wash all mixed together
5. School plays
1. Sleeping late
2. Scary movies
3. Buttery popcorn
4. Logo shirts
5. Road trips
Five things that I still love, even after having children:
1. Playing loud music in the car
2. Dessert
3. Inflatable slides
4. Good books
5. Hanging out with my husband
Five things that I love BECAUSE I have children:
1. The way a two-year-old says "delicious"
2. Family access public bathrooms
3. Dirty feet
4. The smell of grass, sunscreen and baby wash all mixed together
5. School plays
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Snack-tastrophe
I love graham crackers. I could eat them by the box all by myself. I love smearing them with nutella and marshmallow fluff, peanut butter and chocolate chips, cream cheese frosting, whipped cream and strawberries...the snack-worthy toppings are endless.
My kids love graham crackers too, which is awesome. It's awesome because my kids don't like any of the same things. At all. Ever. It's an unwritten kid-rule in my house. If four like spaghetti, there is one who hates spaghetti. For realz. So the fact that I can give one snack to all FIVE children, is a miracle from Heaven.
Tyler loooooves graham crackers. They are his favorite thing. Baby fussing? Give him a graham cracker. Baby teething? Give him a graham cracker. Baby up at 2am? Where are the graham crackers?!?! Graham crackers make him smile.
I like that Tyler likes graham crackers because they make my life easier. In motherhood, anything that makes life a little easier/quieter/less insane is a good thing. So if I can plop Tyler down in front of Blues Clues with a graham cracker and he will actually sit and play and be happy, then I am happy.
Yep, I am teaching my children to sit in front of the television and consume loads of sugary snacks. What could possibly go wrong? But hey, do you want my kids to have clean clothes? Trust me, you do. Television + graham crackers = Jen's kids having clean clothes.
There is, however, a down side to graham crackers. When you chew up graham crackers (or rather when you gum them to death) you end up with this delightful graham cracker crumb paste. It's a slobbery, buttery goop, which you can then smear all over everything from the carpet, to the couch to mom's shirt. The best part though? This goop doesn't stay goopy forever. It DRIES! Instant slobber-graham-crusties. MMMMMMMMM.
So, new math for you. Television + graham crackers = clean clothes and disgusting furniture. Thank goodness for baby wipes.
My kids love graham crackers too, which is awesome. It's awesome because my kids don't like any of the same things. At all. Ever. It's an unwritten kid-rule in my house. If four like spaghetti, there is one who hates spaghetti. For realz. So the fact that I can give one snack to all FIVE children, is a miracle from Heaven.
Tyler loooooves graham crackers. They are his favorite thing. Baby fussing? Give him a graham cracker. Baby teething? Give him a graham cracker. Baby up at 2am? Where are the graham crackers?!?! Graham crackers make him smile.
I like that Tyler likes graham crackers because they make my life easier. In motherhood, anything that makes life a little easier/quieter/less insane is a good thing. So if I can plop Tyler down in front of Blues Clues with a graham cracker and he will actually sit and play and be happy, then I am happy.
Yep, I am teaching my children to sit in front of the television and consume loads of sugary snacks. What could possibly go wrong? But hey, do you want my kids to have clean clothes? Trust me, you do. Television + graham crackers = Jen's kids having clean clothes.
There is, however, a down side to graham crackers. When you chew up graham crackers (or rather when you gum them to death) you end up with this delightful graham cracker crumb paste. It's a slobbery, buttery goop, which you can then smear all over everything from the carpet, to the couch to mom's shirt. The best part though? This goop doesn't stay goopy forever. It DRIES! Instant slobber-graham-crusties. MMMMMMMMM.
So, new math for you. Television + graham crackers = clean clothes and disgusting furniture. Thank goodness for baby wipes.
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