Whatever

This morning something happened. I asked my oldest child if there were any songs he wanted to listen to on the way to school...like I do every morning. I let them all put in a request for a song and we sing and dance and act ridiculous on the way to school. Because we they are kids and kids like to sing and have fun. But this morning my oldest didn't pick a song. He said he didn't care, that he didn't like listening to music.

First of all...what? Everyone likes music. Toddlers and grandparents and athletes and serial killers and fishermen...EVERYONE likes music. Second of all...WHAT?!?!

I didn't push the matter, even though I wanted to drop him off on the side of the highway and force him to sing his way home. I just thought maybe he was grouchy. That's where the thought train left its station. Then it went something like this...ya know, he has been kinda grouchy lately...actually he's been REALLY grouchy lately...he refused to tell me he loved me when I dropped him off at school the other day...he always gives one word answers when I ask about his day...now he doesn't "like" music...

And this is the part of the story where my thought train slams into its destination...

OH.MY.GOSH.   ...  My son is growing up.

Not growing up like, "aww, he says 'puppy'!" And not growing up like, "man, he can tie his shoes all by himself!" But like GROWING UP!

Growing up as in away from me. Away from being a kid into being a young man. Away from "I love you" at the carline. Away from picking "Elevator" or "Firework" to sing on the way to school in the morning. Away from giving me a detailed description of his day.

Up until this point, I've always thought that I loved every age and every stage. Each one has had its own challenges and its own excitement. But the thing each stage had in common was ME. I was still a major part of every stage. That is changing now. It's not all about being with mama anymore...and that just plain bites. It bites hairy monkey tails...STINKY hairy monkey tails.

I think I'm finally starting to truly understand this notion of "enjoy them while they're little because it goes by so fast." We ALL say it. We say it ALL the time. I've said it thousands of times..."they grow up so quickly." But I never really GOT it, because mine were still small. Growing, changing, developing but still just little kids. Little kids who needed and wanted me, no matter what. That kind of growing up is fun. It's fun watching them learn to crawl alone, walk alone, get dressed alone...going potty alone is SUPER fun. It's exciting the first time they get on that big yellow school bus. It's exciting when they give their first talk in Primary or when they play in their first soccer game. Milestones are exciting because they are growing up...but not away. They want to share every new development with you and it is so freaking fun and incredible.

This new growing away thing? I do not think it's freaking fun or incredible.

Now I know this is going to happen and I know it's the way it works but I am not sure I was ready for it and now that we are on this path, I am feeling pretty sure there aren't any U-turns. We are in it now...the growing away stage. And all I can say is...WHAT-EVER!

***PS. I decided, after having an adequate pity party, that I wasn't just going to roll over and take this. Who's driving this bus anyway? That's right, I AM! DAGNABIT! I will decide when this little wolf cub leaves the den, ME! And I am happy to announce that I got an "I love you more" this afternoon. Yes, I did. I am still in the game. Bow-chick-a-wow-wow!

Baithing Suit Shopping and Johnny Cash

Today I took my kids...all of my kids...bathing suit shopping. This was the worst idea I've ever had in my entire life. Ever.

Seriously, a double stroller, a three-year-old wearing a monkey leash and dragging a seriously shnasty "lovie", a shop-a-holic daughter and two boys who daylight as ninjas...what in the WORLD was I thinking?

I was thinking that we need new bathing suits. First of all my oldest's suit is a 5T. My oldest is turning 10 in a few months. Yeah. That's not even the worst of it. These suits need replacing...big time. They have a swimming engagement to attend this weekend so I figure, now or never. I maybe should have picked never.

We stopped first at the boys section, where we encountered our first catastrophe in the form of a dramatic lack of angry bird options. There were none, not a single wingless robin with an attitude to be found. It was tragic. I suggested a few very nice shark suits...they even came with goggles. GOGGLES! That's like swim-time gold for kids. At least, it was when I was a kid and it can't have changed that much...right?

But we don't want sharks, we want angry birds. So I make the mistake of suggesting we try another store. Oh.my.gosh. Leave the store WITHOUT a bathing suit that we don't like?!?!? THE HORROR!!!

We got shark suit number one.

Then my second child picked the ONLY suit that they didn't have in his size. Seriously. Racks and racks of suits in his size...he wants the one that only comes in a XXXXL. No amount of cinching is gonna help that.

We settle on shark suit number two...but not the same as number one because matching suits? "Mom, that is so lame, we aren't twins!"

On to the girl. Here's where it gets super fun. While there is one little section of suits for the boys, there are like twelve for girls. This is a big pet peeve of mine by the way...but we'll talk about that another time.

We pick out about seven suits to try on. They have some seriously cute suits. There were some I wouldn't mind having in my size. Some had some precious little ruffles, one came with a matching swim skirt, darling little things. She also insists on trying on a few that are less cute but whatever, I know that ultimately good taste will prevail and she'll pick one of the adorable suits to take home.

So then the real fun begins...the dressing room. Someday, when I've had time to process things and possibly have some therapy sessions, I might blog about that whole scene. But for now I will skip ahead...

After an epic, drag-me-across-the-floor-by-the-monkey-leash meltdown from Nathan because he couldn't try on his bathing suit, the kids FINALLY come out with their proper suits but then it comes time for the princess to make her final selection.

Seven suits ya'll. Which one does she pick? The tackiest bathing suit I have ever seen. Seriously you guys...it's like a swim wear nightmare. Neon rainbow leopard print with a neon blue ruffle. You couldn't design something that is more not-me if you tried. Yes, I know it's not my suit but when you have five sons and only one daughter perhaps you'll understand. Don't judge me. So I force a smile, try once more to gently encourage her to pick the paisley one with the matching skirt. No dice. So off we go with Lisa Frank's swim gear, three shark suits, a fussing Nugget and dragging a still sobbing Nathan who is now distraught that we are not buying any toys.

We finally made it to the van, loaded up and headed home with our treasures. I am not bathing suit shopping for five years.

Oh...Johnny Cash has absolutely nothing to do with bathing suit shopping. Mike was singing "A Boy Named Sue" to Niblet, which was actually really adorable. Positive way to end a traumatic trip to Kohl's...ice cream and Johnny Cash.

How Do You Celebrate a Birthday in Heaven?

With food and cake and balloons of course. How else would you celebrate a birthday, I ask you...

Today is my mom's birthday. My kids call her "Grandma in Heaven", so today is Grandma in Heaven's birthday. And just like every year on her birthday, we celebrated.

First there is our traditional birthday dinner. When I was growing up and my dad would go out of town, my mom would always make the same dinner- hot dogs, baked beans and egg noodles with garlic salt. Turns out this is a tradition from her family too. Mom made her hotdogs in the frying pan, so did Grandma McKenna. I have to boil mine because the kids freak out politely request there be no black stuff on their hot dogs. Other than that, we keep with traditional preparation methods.

Can't ya smell those dogs? Yum.

Next, we make a card and send it to Heaven via balloon. This year was a little more emotional. For me? Probably hormones/sleep deprivation/missing my mom/watching my children send messages to their grandma. For Nathan and Tyler it was the loss of their beloved giant balloon.

Saying "Happy Birthay!" to Grandma...

Then we keep watching it fly off to Heaven...

Until it gets all the way there and we can't see it anymore.

And there is a philosophy that my mother and I shared throughout my childhood. It's very profound and very important and philosophicalish. You might want to get a pen and write this down, because it's just that inspiring. This is it...

When all is said and done, if you can find any reason, excuse or occasion to eat dessert...you should do it.

Happy Birthday Mama. I'm so thankful to be your daughter and, as you can see, I am as bad at decorating cakes as you were at making pie crusts.

Liebster...Not to be Confused with Biebster

Do you remember how the internet used to be swarming with surveys? Seriously, that was the big thing. I can remember filling out multiple surveys a day...in between my internet cutting out (back in my day we had dial up folks).
Well, the Liebster Blog Award is like that...only cooler because it's vintage now.
Sooo...first you have to post 10 random things about yourself, answer 10 questions the tagger asked, then create 10 questions of your own. Then tag a few people.
So since I got tagged by my oldest friend in the whole wide world, Amanda Panda at www.thekriegers.org , I figured I better oblige! After all,  nothing says love and friendship like a good ole fashioned survey.
So here goes nothing...

10 random things:

1. I actually have ten random things about me posted on the sideline of my blog...is copying these cheating? Yes? Dang it. Ummm...
2. Until a few years ago I totally thought that jackalopes were real...seriously who woke up one day and said, "ya know what that stuffed rabbit needs? a good pair of antlers."
3. I think Shepherd's Pie is disgusting.
4. I think Shepherd's Pie is disgusting...but I totally love the smell of a barn. That is not weird by the way.
5. I will NEVER get a tattoo but if I ever did, it would be shark tooth.
6. When I was little my mom would play the record of "Peter and the Wolf" and chase me when the wolf's music came on...I still can't watch the movie alone.
7. Six weeks ago I moved to Florida and that was my first time living outside the state of Virginia...though I'm not sure it really counts since I still haven't changed my location on Facebook.
8. One of my children is named after his dad, one after a TV personality, two after Presidents of the LDS Church, one after my mother and a mentor...and one after a vampire.
9. I love the smell of playdough. So do you...admit it. Everyone loves the smell of playdough.
10. I have never backed out in a game of truth or dare...so don't dare me to do something embarrassing. I play to win.

Amanda's Questions:

1. What’s your favorite cereal? There is this to-die-for granola that you get at Target. I am torn between the maple pecan and the french vanilla almond...ah-mA-zing.
2. What’s your favorite time of day? Depends on the day I guess. I do enjoy the evening after the kids are in bed and I can just relax with the hubby.
3. What are you reading now? I just finished reading "Matched" and I have a long list of to-reads.
4. What’s your favorite season? In Virginia? Summer...in Florida? We shall see.
5. Did you ever wish you had a different name? What is it? Maggie...I just think I look like a Maggie.
6. What’s one vice you can’t give up, even though you’ve tried? Sweets! I have tried on multiple occasions and resistance has proved futile.
7. Do you have a celebrity doppleganger? Everyone says I look like Rachel McAdams
8. What’s one cause that you love to debate/weigh in on? Abortion
9. Which of these was hardest? Random facts, answering questions or writing questions? Well so far I've only done two...but of the two? Random facts was WAAAY harder.
10. What do you think the answer to #10 says about your personality? That I'm pretty boring.

My 10 Questions:
1. Would you rather be able to swim (like a fish) or fly (like a bird)?
2. If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?
3. What color is found most frequently in your wardrobe?
4. Pudding or Jello?
5. What do you put on your baked potato?
6. Favorite band when you were in high school?
7. Name one thing on your bucket list.
8. What is your favorite kind of cheese?
9. It's 9 o' clock on Saturday night...what are you doing?
10. Who, in your opinion, was the best Batman?

And the nominees for my Liebster Award are:

Kelli at www.writingthewavesmama.blogspot.com
Maddy at www.bryceandmaddy.blogspot.com
Bronwynn at www.robinandrue.blogspot.com
Richelle at www.chelleybean.blogspot.com

Six to One...Half Dozen for This Mother

I have been a mother of six for an entire week now...let's just take a moment to let that sink in.

... sinking...

...still sinking...

When you're a mother, your life is pretty much nothing but questions. I ask a lot of questions. "Is this normal?" "Is he/she okay?" "Did he eat enough?" "Did he eat too much?" You would think I'd have this baby thing on lock down by now but hand me a newborn and it's like the first time all over again. That excitement and panic and overall "Can I DO this?!?" feeling.

I also get asked a lot of questions. In fact, when I'm not asking myself questions, someone else is asking me questions. I am not sure I'd know what to do with myself if I wasn't answering someones questions... What was that?

I get asked questions by everyone. My kids. My husband. People at Church. Random people on the street. Even in the hospital, when I'm breathing through a contraction someone asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10. I hate that question. I told him/her that. I don't freaking know. It hurts. This was not an acceptable answer...so they asked me AGAIN. MORE questions!

One big question I get (rather frequently actually) is "how do you do it?"

I kind of hate this question too, only because I really don't know how to answer it. I don't know what people are looking for when they ask it. Do they want an answer? Are they really meaning to make a statement, like, "I don't know how you do it." or "You are absolutely certifiably insane." ?? Or do they want a list of what I do all day and how I do it? Do they want specific examples? A diagram? A youtube tutorial? Do they even understand that I am terribly under qualified to give any type of parenting how-to's?

Because of this, I've always given really vague answers, ie."We get up in the morning and go to bed at night...everything else just sort of happens."

But I've decided there are a few things that make what I do possible. Here they are:

1. Television---we watch way too much of it. My oldest has probably logged more cumulative tv time in his 9 years than Oprah. Ps. He is in an accelerated reading program and above grade level for writing. He spent his first few years watching Blues Clues and came out unscathed. It's a miracle.

2. Fruit Snacks---not the homemade-pinterest-really-dried-fruit nonsense. I'm talking gelatin, animal feet, preservatives...the real deal. I do not know how parents live without them. Truth.

3. Prayers---I say a million a day. I mean, obviously I need help. My kids are watching mindless brain sucking tube and eating animal hooves all day. I'm clueless and I need help...lots and lots and lots of help.

4. Husband---The man is an angel, sent to Earth so that I don't completely go off the deep end. He is the reason that we don't eat waffles for dinner every single night.

5. Mindless Fiction Novels---These keep me from losing my mind completely...except for secretly wondering if that girl who sold me the earrings at Claire's is an undercover shadowhunter and checking the abnormally tall guy at Target for molnija marks on his neck.

That's pretty much my list. That's how I get through. We love the heck out of our kids, take lots of short cuts and hope it all works out okay in the end. Now do you see why no one should ask me for parenting advice? Maybe number six will set me straight.

Moving...

Moving is hard. Everyone says that and everyone is right. It is hard. Really hard. Do you know what else is hard? Moving when you're pregnant. I don't recommend doing it if you can help it. Pregnancy makes you grumpy and emotional and tired and sore. On the other hand, it does lend a fabulous excuse for being all those things, which you probably would be anyway BECAUSE...moving is HARD!

We have been here in Florida for about a month now. I wish I could say that it feels like home now. I will have to settle for saying that most of our boxes are unpacked and I can find Target, the grocery store, the zoo and the church building without using my GPS.

It's different here. For one thing, it's been 80 degrees outside...in January. It's actually kind of a time-warping thing. I totally forget that it's winter. Some of that might also be that my kids are still not in school. That's another story entirely, one we will just leave alone for now.

Another thing that's different is the wildlife. There are creatures everywhere. EVERYWHERE. This part is actually kinda cool. We have lizards on our back patio all the time. No, I'm serious...all the time. Not like we see lots of lizards, but like, I can go out on my patio and spot three lizards at any time. Lots of cranes too. We see them when we walk to get the mail, they stop traffic to cross the street (no joke ya'll). There are also gators swimming around. Interestingly enough, it's not as scary as I thought it would be. They aren't walking around my front yard or swinging from the trees like I pictured before we moved. You just see them swimming around sometimes in one of the fifty five thousand bodies of water in a three mile radius. Seriously, lots of water here. The scariest part of the gators is being married to Mike Ramsey who has an unquenchable compulsion to catch and play with dangerous animals.

The people here are wonderful. Everyone is friendly and welcoming...although they do have this thing with ignoring anything red. I can't tell you how many people I have seen blow through a stop sign or stop light as if it's not even there. Seriously. I might be nervous except that I drive the largest, most monstrous vehicle on the roads so their measly sports cars don't intimidate me. They'd bounce off like a flea. Florida drivers, you've been warned.

I'm still horribly homesick. I miss my familiar places. I REALLY miss my wonderful friends and my doctors. Oh my goodness, if you have great doctors, please don't take them for granted. In fact, after you read this blog, get off the computer and go write them a note and make them a plate of cookies and take it to them. They are worth their weight in gold and diamonds and chocolate. If you don't have good doctors, move to Richmond, VA because I have some great recommendations. Same with your teachers. Teachers and doctors...for real.

But challenges aside, we have had some really fun experiences in Florida. Actually being away from our social network has forced us to get out and really look for things to do as a family. It has brought us closer together and we have enjoyed this special time.

Some of the neat things we've done in Florida:
* We got an annual pass to the local zoo and have enjoyed a couple of trips there already.
* We went on a "river walk" along Lake Monroe. The highlight was the ducks. I love ducks.
* We went to the Blue Springs State Park and got to see the manatees and the gators. It was breathtaking.
* We went to the DeLand Reptile Center and got to watch them milk venomous snakes. It was actually super cool to watch.
* Gavin went "bungee jumping" at the mall. 6 out of the 7 of us thought this was fun to watch...I'll let you guess who the 1 freaked out one was.
* We went to Target. Target is cool no matter where you go. Period.

So that's been our adventure so far. We miss home but have felt such a remarkable peace from our Heavenly Father. We know this is where we are supposed to be and are thankful for the opportunities He has given us. We are looking forward to welcoming baby Ramsey here shortly and enjoying whatever Florida adventures might await us.

Merry Christmas

I can't believe it's Christmas eve already. Honestly, it hasn't felt like Christmas at all. We have been so crazy busy with moving that celebrations have been minimal. Next year we will make up for it, that's what I keep telling myself.
One thing that has been on my mind a lot is the Christmas story. The most widely told version is the one found in Luke. I love that one. There is another account, which has always been a favorite, but has had special meaning to me this year. It is found in the Book of Mormon.
In this account, there has been a day set apart by the unbelievers where, if the sign of Christ's coming (as foretold by Samuel the Lamanite) has not been given, all the believers will be put to death.
I imagine there must have been a great deal of anxiety amongst those who had believed the words of Samuel. I can imagine, to a point, being a mother in those times. I can imagine the fear I would feel for my children and my family. What if the sign did not come? What if my faith was blind? How hard would it have been, in those circumstances, to truly believe that the Savior would come?
Likewise, this Christmas season has been filled with great anxiety in my own life, as well as in the world at large. Calamity, shootings, innocent lives taken, disasters, fear, panic, confusion.
On a smaller scale, fear for my own family's well being. Will they do well at their new school? Will I be able to have this baby safely? Will we be safe and happy in our new neighborhood?
Like in the times of Samuel, we can easily look around and wonder, "is my faith founded? Is God there? I believe, but where is the sign that we have been promised?"
And then comes the glorious account of Nephi, as he prayed to his Father in Heaven, likely feeling great anxiety for his people and his loved ones.:
"Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets."
I can only imagine the overwhelming joy and peace that Nephi felt, followed by the rejoicing of the people as the sign of their Savior's birth came.
While we may feel much of that anxiety and fear and sorrow throughout the year, I hope that this Christmas we can focus on the joy and the hope brought by our Savior, Jesus Christ. Through Him, a world redeemed. Through Him, all things made right. Through Him, hope and peace and joy and love.
Merry Christmas everyone!