The Top 5 Reasons That I am Pro-Life

I try to keep the controversial, serious stuff off my family blog. I like the blog to be fun and cute-sy. But this is an issue that has been weighing heavily on my heart recently. I think we sometimes take the issue of having children and try to make it all about us. We think of it as something that should fit into our plan. But our plan is not THE plan. A good friend of mine recently pointed out to me that Adam and Eve did not have children in the Garden of Eden. We so often wait for the timing to be perfect. We want the right job, the right education, the right home. We want to travel first, etc. But we are not in the garden. It is never going to be easy and perfect. But it isn't really about us is it? It's about them. And so, with that having been said, I would like to share my top five reasons why I am Pro-Life:

#1

loves video games, reads 1-2 grade levels ahead, is in the 5th percentile for his size so we call him Peter Parker, gets up early and makes breakfast for everyone so his mom & dad can sleep, writes letters to the mail man, climbs trees, has freckles on his nose, is turning 9 years old in June, will change the world

#2

loves to draw, is the champion of the "what" game, puts plastic spiders in my bed to scare me, takes tae kwon do, loves snakes, is "team jacob" because he loves wolves, opens doors for ladies, laughs with his whole body, can eat more spaghetti than anyone i know, looks like his dad, sleeps with his star blanket, will change the world

#3

gives the best hugs in the world, loves dogs and cats, likes to sing, goes to see "princesses on ice" with her mom every year, doesn't like nail polish, loves to hold her baby brother, wears her pink boots almost every day, wants to be a fisherman when she grows up, is a super picky eater, doesn't cry when she gets a shot, will change the world

#4

likes scooby doo, smears toothpaste on the mirror, loves to eat tomatoes, calls his daddy "papa", makes at least 15 messes a day, makes his mom smile at least 100 times a day, his best friend calls him "mayfin", sucks his thumb, throws tantrums, gives puppy kisses, is spoiled rotten, is a miracle baby, will change the world

#5

is a sweet little nugget, doesn't sleep well at night, pulls himself up to stand at 7 months, eats everything he can find on the floor, looks like the red angry bird when he scowls, loves to snuggle, hates bananas, pulls hair, has a smile that lights up a room, was almost named Beckham, chases the vacuum, will change the world

If You Need Me, I'll Be Hanging with My New Friend...

I want you to meet my new best friend. We only met recently, but I can already tell you that this is going to be a very important relationship in my life. Say, "hello", to my new friend, Cookie Butter.

I know what you're thinking...how did we sleep through the Second Coming? Because cookies.and butter.together. Yep, we're all in Heaven! Grandma actually spotted it on the shelf while we were shopping for honey, and are we so glad that she did!

Suggested uses:
Smoothies, smearing on fruit, crackers or toast, eat it plain with a spoon (Grandma and I tested this method...it's a winner), lick it straight out of the jar.

The Wonderful Thing about Tylers...

Is Tylers are wonderful things.

Communicating with Men...or, Eating Soup with a Butter Knife

Papa Bear and I stayed up way too late talking. This usually results in me bearing my soul...staying up late is never a good idea for me.
Papa Bear isn't really the soul-bearing type. So we end up with a lot of conversations like this:
me: "What do you love about me? you can't say 'everything', that doesn't count."
husband: after a few quiet moments, "I think what I really love most about you is the deep and affirming love that you have for (here is where I wait for something about what a beautiful, loving mother I am) Lizard Lick Towing."

**for those who aren't familiar, Lizard Lick Towing is a show on television. I enjoy watching it. Don't judge me. It's hilarious. My husband thinks it is really funny that I watch this show, which I totally don't get because he is the one who introduced it to me in the first place. Hypocrite.

OR, this:

me: "Sometimes I just feel like I'm not a very good mom. I'm not a fun mom or a cool mom. I'm just the laundry-folding mom. The diaper-changing, dish-washing, tub-bathing, cheese-shredding, spaghetti-making mom."
husband: "Yeah, we should just go back to buying shredded cheese."

Really? That's what you took from that conversation? Geesh. Men.

Who Needs Sleep?

Um, I do, for one. I know that our Heavenly Father has a perfect plan in place for each of us. Sometimes I really don't understand it. For example, I don't understand why He created our bodies to require sleep and then put us in situations where it is IMPOSSIBLE to do so. Then I remember that I was the one who wanted all these creatures of the night children and I kinda don't blame Him so much anymore.
Occasionally though, I don't really think it's my fault. I mean, the math is simple. Humans need sleep. All humans...big humans and small humans. How was I to possibly know that I would be blessed with the five humans who defy the laws of nature and never need to sleep? See, I'm innocent!
But my kids aren't the only problem. There just seems to be some sort of sleep conspiracy. Kid.You.Not.
There are these rare moments in time where I actually get to lie down and rest during the day. Most days, these moments remain an illusive dream. And on some days, I will manage to get both little boys to sleep while the three wild things are still at school, but I force myself to be productive and use that time to do my dishes or laundry or what have you (even as I type the words, my fingers feel sick and shameful. what a waste of lovely sleep time). Then there are those few and far between moments, when I decide I am going to do it. I'm going to take a nap.
This is how it usually goes:
Little boys fall asleep, I have one hour before the bus comes, I lie down on the couch and start to doze off and one of the following things takes place:
1. The phone rings. It never fails. I will turn the ringer off on my cell...the home phone rings. I ignore the call because my home phone is usually only used by telemarketers...it turns out to be my tax guy. My refund will likely be delayed because I put off the call for twenty minutes.
2. The dog starts barking. If I lie there for long enough MAYBE he will stop...or maybe I can tune him out.
3. The door bell rings. Are you kidding me? Sometimes I forget I actually have a doorbell, because it only rings when I try to nap. I peak out the curtain and it's a random girl (maybe 11 or 12) standing on my front porch. I ignore it. The truth is, if I open the door I am a little afraid that I will kick her in the knee. So I go back and lie down. Then I start feeling guilty and all sorts of random scenarios run through my head: She is trying to raise money to go to florida and fulfill her life long dream of playing the clarinet and because I didn't buy her $17 box of cookies she will end up on the street. Or, she was approached by a stranger and ran to my house for help and now I am going to find her face on a milk carton. **As it turns out, she just wanted to play with my kids.
4. All of the above. I'm telling you it's the universe. My kids leave me alone for forty minutes and the rest of the world steps in to fill their shoes. Unbelievable.

On most days, this would make me angry. Today, I somehow still managed to get a little rest in between all the madness so it's just funny.

The Category "C" of Mothering

In pregnancy, they rate medications on an alphabet scale. Category "A" is considered totally safe for women to take during pregnancy. This category involves mostly vitamins. Category "B" drugs are considered generally safe. These drugs have been tested and are not shown to have adverse effects in humans or animals. Tylenol, for example, is a Category B. It goes all the way down to a Category "D", which is the stuff you just don't touch. These are medications that have been tested and are considered harmful during pregnancy.

The thing is, I understand the Category B and D things. But there is this other category, Category "C". That's the tricky stuff. Those are the things that are sometimes considered safe in pregnancy, sometimes not. Generally they include drugs that haven't been adequately tested on humans and should only be used if the potential benefits outweight the potential risks. For example, I used Zofran (a Category C anti-nausea drug) during my pregnancies, because my doctor felt that the risk of taking the Zofran was less than the risk of dehydration from my severe morning sickness.

I don't like Cateogry C. I don't understand Category C. Category C is secretive and sneaky and not black and white. It's gray, and I don't like gray.

In the last 8.5 years I have come to realize that much of motherhood falls into the Category C. There are so many things that are in that gray area. They might be good, they might be bad, they might be worth it if the benefits outweight the potential risks. It's a big huge pot of uncertainty. Uncertainty and I don't really get along well.

Some things fall very easily into a nice, safe category. Giving your child hugs, Category A. Beating your child with a stick, Category D. Letting your child cry himself to sleep? Well, that's a Category C. Some say it's fine. Some say it isn't. The real question is, does the benefit outweigh the risk? For me, it's safer to let my kids cry for a few nights than to wreck the car on the way to soccer practice because I am totally sleep deprived. Lot's of things are Category C in parenting. Here are a few that I have tried:

Crying it out for sleep training
Not washing hands before eating dinner
Using a binky up to age 4
Having a bottle in bed
Eating ice cream/cookies/cupcakes for breakfast
Giving solids before 4 months of age
Giving my kids Benedryl on roadtrips
Co-sleeping
Skipping school for no good reason
Watching television ALL day long for an extended period of time
Not doing pre-school

The list goes on and on...but those are a few. My point is that a lot of things fall into that Category C. Maybe they are ok, maybe not. I think as mothers we need to do the best we can, forgive ourselves if we screw up once in a while and support each other along the way.

I know I'm biased, but I'd say that even with all the Category C activities we have participated in, they sure don't seem any worse for the wear. :)

Just Grin and Keep Walking

Food is good. Toilet paper is also good. Shampoo, paper towels, laundry detergent, hummus (if you don't like hummus there is something wrong with you. My husband doesn't like hummus. He is a strange man, but i digress)-these are all good things. The fact that there exists in this world, a place where you can buy all these things at once is a little slice of Heaven. Actually grocery shopping, however, is akin to a stroll through the seventh circle of hell. I don't say that lightly. It's just the truth. Let me explain...
It's not the five crazy children hanging off the sides of my basket...I brought those. It's not the isles that are way too small, the broken seat belts in the little grocery-cart-car, or the strategically placed candy bars at check out. All those things, I can deal with.
What makes shopping miserable, at least for me, is the people. Now don't hate me just yet. I actually really like people. A lot. I'm a people person. But for goodness sake, sometimes I just want to take a riding crop and walop them on the forehead.
You might actually be one of these people...it's okay, I still love you. You probably just don't know any better. That is why I am here. I have come to educate you. Here are a few of the things you should never say/do to a woman(or man-I am nothing if not supportive of a dad's right to grocery shop)who is shopping with children. You might want to write this down.
#1- Instead of saying "wow, you have your hands full" maybe you should just donate a quarter. If everyone did this, I wouldn't have to pay for my groceries.
#2- Don't ask her questions like "are they all yours?", "do they have the same father?", etc. It's not that the questions are horribly offensive or anything, but for the love of Pete, I am shopping with FIVE CHILDREN, I don't have time for your questions.
#3- If your cart is in the way, move it or lose it. We take up a lot of space and those buggies are hard to navigate when you have two kids swaying back and forth singing "Jingle Bells" and one strapped to your chest and two more pulling on your pant leg. In addition, if you get run into, don't give a dirty look, the first time was an accident but the next time can totally be on purpose. Oh yeah, I mean that!
#4- If one (or more) of the children is screaming, please don't make comments about how "someone isn't happy". We moms have this crazy awesome mom power where we can actually hear if our children are screaming. It's pretty acute. Oh, and don't look at me like I'm burning my child. Lastly, if screaming bothers you, sorry, them's the breaks. Kids are kids and you were one once. I don't mean to be insensitive but seriously, take some advice from Pete and his dragon- "there's room for everyone in this world, if everyone makes some room."
#5- For Pete's sake (man Pete is coming up a lot in this post), PLEASE don't tell a mom who is shopping with her children that she is "brave". I am taking my kids to the grocery store, not Alcatraz Island. I am buying oranges, not diffusing a bomb. I am not "brave" for going to the store-stupid maybe-but not brave.
#6- If you can't say something nice...nevermind, if you can't say something supportive...ya know what, it would be better if you just didn't speak at all. Moms who are shopping with kids just want to get in, get their junk and get out alive and with shoes on. So just smile and do your stuff and leave them alone. I promise, they are doing the best they can.
Well, I feel better.