Dear Jenny,
So, you failed. That sucks. I mean, truly. Sucks. There are
very few things as devastating as putting your heart, blood, sweat and tears
(not to mention someone else’s cuz, ya know, nurse…too soon?) into something
only to end without the results you had hoped and prayed for.
But you’re no stranger to that. This isn’t the first time
that you’ve failed. This is not your first rodeo, girl. Your heart has been
broken. Your best efforts have fallen short. You have set goals and failed to
reach them. But before you berate yourself for authoring this abysmal version
of a pep-talk, let me remind you of something…you’re still here.
You’re here because failure is inevitable. Heartache and
disappointment and fear and sorrow, they are all a part of this great and
terrible, beautiful mess that is your life. The dark threads are as needed and this, this is just another dark thread in the incredible tapestry of this time you’ve
been granted on Earth. You, my friend, are a lucky, lucky bird.
See failure doesn’t define you as a person, neither does
success. Who you are, your value as a human being, is a gift. You didn’t earn
it, you were given it. You are a child of God and that is your inherent value.
You can choose to use your time on Earth to strive for goodness, for success,
for joy but your worth is predetermined. You are not earning it and you are not
losing it. He loves you. And that love is not contingent upon whether you
succeed or fail.
I know you’ve wanted this for a long time…a super long time.
But there has been great joy, joy beyond description, in your life. It was
there before nursing school. It will be there after. You’ve lost people you
love. There were times you felt like you’d never be able to feel happiness
again. But you did. And you will. Oh, you will.
I don’t know what you’ll decide to do. I don’t know if you’ll
keep going and graduate and become a nurse. I hope you do. But, if that’s not
what happens, if you don’t become a nurse, please remember that it’s okay.
There is happiness to be had. There is love to give and to receive. There is
work for you to do.
I know you’re worried about your kids. You want so badly to
show them that you can accomplish your dreams and that it’s okay to follow your
own heart, even if takes you in a different direction than the masses. Please,
don’t worry about the kids. You’re showing them something just as important.
You’re showing them that it’s okay to fall down and it’s okay to mess up. You’re
teaching them that joy is a choice and that their worth is unchangeable.
After all, if there’s anything you’ve learned in your life
it’s that the best boots have some mud on them.
Chin up, girl. You’re going to be just fine.
